Date: Wednesday, 17th January 2018
Do you know what it means to love yourself unconditionally?
Do you know how to totally accept and embrace yourself fully?
Are you facing difficulties with loving yourself?
Just for a moment, tune in. Listen to your self-talk. Is the following self-talk true of you? -
Chances are that you have been saying more negative than positive things to yourself. Studies have in fact confirmed that we do 300-400 evaluations per day and the majority of it is negative. If your self-talk is unkind, causes you to feel down and erodes you of your spirit, then you can be said to be having some challenges with feeling good about yourself.
On the contrary, should you love yourself absolutely, you will not be doing any of these. Instead, you will be supportive, compassionate and not be constantly criticizing yourself. Hence, it is important that you start to observe what you have been saying to yourself. Then again, loving your encompasses more than just changing your self-talk. I would like to share with you how you can learn to love yourself in the mind, body and spirit.
Obviously, self-love rests on a continuum. Most of us do have some degree of self-love and acceptance. However, at low or insufficient levels, we can face tremendous difficulties with coping with life. It is possible that we allow our self-talk to overwhelm us to the point that we are unable to function well. Signs of self-sabotaging behavior include procrastination, depression and addictive behavior such as drinking or an eating disorder. Self-sabotage patterns can affect us for years if we do not do anything about them.
If you do not wish to be held back by these patterns once and for all, a great place to start is to learn how to love yourself!
I completely understand what it feels like to be facing difficulties with self-love. You see, when I first began realizing what my core issue was – being insufficient self-love – I had no idea where to start. Self-love may appear to be a fundamental thing that everyone should know but for those who have been living with debilitating stories for a long time, it is really not so simple.
If you have been feeling miserable about yourself, then know that you are NOT alone.
Having received about 1,000 email confessions so far and still growing, suffice to say, you are NOT the only one in misery. You see, for the past 3 years, I have been receiving emails every day from people all over the world about their tremendous challenges with self-love. They have written to me as a result of my blog posts about self-love. Here are a few email excerpts….
"I am currently having problems in my relationship with my boyfriend. He says most of our problems are from my lack of love for myself. He has recently told me that he dose not believe that we are going to ever work out.
There is nothing more in this world that I want then for this relationship to work. I do understand where he is coming from. The problem is that I do count on him for my happiness. I already know that this is unhealthy and I have seen counselors probably not long enough to do much good. I am planning on going and giving it another try, but I am already guessing that it would not help much. It feels like there is just one more person in my life that is telling me how messed I am.
I am also wondering why I can want a great relationship with my boyfriend and at the same time, be the one to cause problems. I just cannot stop being negative and creating havoc.
On the side, I do not know what to do without him. I have no accomplishments that I am proud of. For a long time, I have not been able to smile. I am in so much pain that I keep away from my friends.
What am I suppose to do? How am I supposed to fall in-love with myself when I am such a horrible person?"
Rosalind from the United States
"I am 28 years old, working as a Manager in a US MNC and earning decently well above average. I have been working hard to be where I am today. As compared to my friends and relatives, I am in an enviable position because of my career growth.
Despite the outward appearances of achievement and success, I feel horrible on the inside. I am so hesitant of any change, taking risks/chances and pushing myself to greater heights. I tend to give in to the demands from every friend and colleague. I suffer from a lack of confidence.
I am aware that I look up to those with better-looking features such as their height. I have a tendency to attach more value to their most trivial of achievements and undermine the best of my strengths.
At work, I know that I am able to do a job well, but whenever the situation calls for leadership, I feel as if I just can’t live up to it. And so, I try to be a good team player but avoid taking the driver's seat at all costs.
I dislike the idea of being aggressive, rash, blunt, or boastful, but then again, I also do not want to be a person with low self-confidence, poor self-esteem and the biggest self-critic. Please tell me how I can convince myself that I am not as weak and undeserving as I now believe I am."
Pete from Spain
"I am a 31-year old woman who has struggled since I was a teenager with anorexia, anxiety, and depression….I have never been able to have a long-term relationship with a man and just realized in the past few months it is because I do not love myself…or even like myself for that matter.
After reading your article, I have made a vow to myself to really begin a quest to truly love and accept myself. Thank you so much! I look forward to reading more from you!"
Sharon from Switzerland
Additionally, I have helping a number of my clients, family and friends about their self-love issues too. From my findings, it is clear that insufficient or the lack of self-love can cause much disruption to anyone’s life. And if you ask me, we are living in a world that is starved of love. It is not that love is not available but we have been starving ourselves from our basic need.
Chances are that it has been hard to escape from the constant bombardment of messages that made us believe how “not good enough” or unlovable we are. We hear them from our parents, friends, bosses, and media advertisements. In fact, we have been hearing these messages from the time we were born. It has been the case that ever since the time we were children, we have been learning that we need perfect looks, top grades, titles, money and status to be deemed worthy of love and respect. And so, we use these forms of identification to define who we are. Should we fall short, we find it hard to love ourselves.
Unfortunately, success can be harder to achieve if the voice inside your head becomes overwhelming. You constantly judge yourself for being “wrong”, “imperfect” or “not good enough”. You also apply labels such as a “failure”, “loser” or “freak” on yourself. Admittedly, it is difficult to experience any ounce of joy when you are convinced of the debilitating stories that you tell yourself.
"Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves." - Nathaniel Branden
Because you have been trapped in a negative mental state for so long, loving yourself is not something that comes easily. Even as you wish to break free from your inner critic, you had been facing problems knowing where to start. You find yourself drowning again and again in a whirl of self-pity, self-rejection and self-blame.
Hence, it would seem that loving yourself has to be a practice until the day that it becomes natural, just like breathing. So it means that you need to start to learn how to love yourself from the beginning. Well, before going on to that, let’s look into the consequences of what happens when there is a lack or low level of love:
Most certainly, life can be more of a struggle especially if you are in the habit of deriding yourself. It is hard to function well when you are your greatest enemy. Invariably, you will face problems in relationships, health, success, career and wealth. It is possible to remain stuck in negativity for years, without knowing how to help yourself out effectively.
Well, what you need to realize is that it is not possible to enjoy abundance of any form if you lack self-love. The vibration of abundance is love. Love has creative power. It creates everything that you see around you. Manifesting abundance can only begin with loving yourself. And so if you are hoping to enjoy some level of happiness or even to create a great life, you will need to learn how to love yourself. In fact, the more self-love you have, the greater your ability to manifest abundance.
"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and attention." - Buddha
For one, holding on to myths can prevent you from loving yourself more fully. If you believe that self-love is simply about having a long bath, a manicure, massage or having your hair done, then you are sadly mistaken. Sure these self-care activities make you feel good about yourself. Buying a branded handbag or expensive car for yourself may be able to give you a high. However, these are just externals. The satisfaction that you derive from them do not long last long. The excitement dies out - fast!
Hence, it is possible to be engaged in years of self-care but still face difficulties with loving yourself. In fact, by keeping yourself endlessly occupied with forms that engage your senses, you may even miss the whole point about what it truly means to love yourself. And so you get an instant perk through these activities or material possessions but they do not transform you from the inside. The rush of energy fizzles out rather quickly.
The myth of self-care is one of the 6 misconceptions that my book Self-Love Secrets explores. In my book, I provided some answers to commonly asked questions. The answers are meant to kick-start anyone’s journey towards healing, recovery and integration. Learn how to love yourself by aligning with the truth!
Self-love is about your being. It encompasses more than just doing. Hence, to truly love the self is more than a physical act of self-care, having material goods, using mental force to will yourself or having the day off to rest. It is also more than saying positive things to yourself. Self-love necessarily involves the mind-body-spirit. It incorporates an inside-out approach.
Learn how to love yourself unconditionally. You will eventually discover that you are the one that you seek. Answers to having a more successful life does not lie outside but from within. It is only when you search inside your heart that you will realize who you really are. Your inner being shines with luminescence, touching and inspiring everyone around you. You become alive and very much, awake.
Self-Love Secrets: How to Love Yourself Unconditionally is written in a very easy-to-understand format. Whether you are 21 or 70 years old, you should be able to gain some useful tips from this book. It is a great starter guide to learn how to love yourself unconditionally.
My book covers all three mind-body-spirit aspects of the practice. It gets your questions answered, helps you to flip your negative self-talk to a positive one, equips you with strategies and facilitates spiritual awareness. You will learn about the importance of having balance, without tipping over to self-deprecation or narcissism, in order to be healthy. You will find true self-love.
By reading my book, learn how to love yourself with the following topics...
To learn how to love yourself on a practical basis, I have also included three additional reports. They are as follows:
Self-love is a practice. To learn how to love yourself, you need to transform your old habitual patterns. In this all-in-one accompanying book, get an amazing list of items on what you can do. The exercises described here can help you make the shift to a more loving you, once you put them in place.
No idea what positive self-talk looks like? Here is a list of 101 affirmations that you can use as a guide. Learn how to love yourself by using statements to empower you.
Loving yourself means taking care of your needs in a holistic way. Learn how to love yourself with this bonus report on 101 Tips for Holistic Health. Tips covered are on alternative and natural treatments.
Together with the bonus reports, the entire Self-Love Secrets: How to Love Yourself Unconditionally collection is meant to be able to help you develop a stronger footing in loving yourself.
If you are facing challenges with coping with issues on self-love or self-esteem, then you will need to read Self-Love Secrets. Learn how to love yourself unconditionally from the inside-out. Most certainly, an increased ability to love yourself more fully can have tremendous positive impact on your life. Here are some of the possible benefits that you may derive:
When you make a decision to love yourself, you are really saying that you want to come alive.You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a fulfilling life.
Hence, do not procrastinate any longer. It is possible to feel better right away. Do not continue to allow your current negative self-talk hijack your right to happiness. Break free from habitual thought patterns and align with the loving part of you. Learn how to love yourself in the mind, body and spirit.
As the famous philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine." Hence, consider stepping into the light by learning the keys to loving yourself.
Shine from the soul always,
Self-Love Healing Specialist