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Dear friend,

Do you know what it means to love yourself unconditionally?

Do you know how to totally accept and embrace yourself fully?

Are you facing difficulties with loving yourself?

Just for a moment, tune in. Listen to your self-talk. Is the following self-talk true of you? - 

Chances are that you have been saying more negative than positive things to yourself.  Studies have in fact confirmed that we do 300-400 evaluations per day and the majority of it is negative. If your self-talk is unkind, causes you to feel down and erodes you of your spirit, then you can be said to be having some challenges with feeling good about yourself.

On the contrary, should you love yourself absolutely, you will not be doing any of these.  Instead, you will be supportive, compassionate and not be constantly criticizing yourself. Hence, it is important that you start to observe what you have been saying to yourself. Then again, loving your encompasses more than just changing your self-talk.  

Obviously, self-love rests on a continuum.  Most of us do have some degree of self-love and acceptance.  However, at low or insufficient levels, we can face tremendous difficulties with coping with life.  It is possible that we allow our self-talk to overwhelm us to the point that we are unable to function well.  Signs of self-sabotaging behavior include procrastination, depression and addictive behavior such as drinking or an eating disorder. Self-sabotage patterns can affect us for years if we do not do anything about them.

You are Not Alone

I completely understand what it feels like to be facing difficulties with self-love.  You see, when I first began realizing what my core issue was – being insufficient self-love – I had no idea where to start.  Self-love may appear to be a fundamental thing that everyone should know but for those who have been living with debilitating stories for a long time, it is really not so simple.

If you have been feeling miserable about yourself, then know that you are not alone.  Having received about 1,000 email confessions so far and still growing, suffice to say, you are not the only one suffering. You see, for the past 3 years, I have been receiving emails every day from people all over the world about their tremendous challenges with self-love.  They have written to me as a result of my blog posts about self-love. Here are two particular email excerpts….

I am currently having problems in my relationship with my boyfriend. He says most of our problems are from my lack of love for myself.  He has recently told me that he dose not believe that we are going to ever work out. 

 

There is nothing more in this world that I want then for this relationship to work. I do understand where he is coming from.  The problem is that I do count on him for my happiness.  I already know that this is unhealthy and I have seen counselors probably not long enough to do much good. I am planning on going and giving it another try, but I am already guessing that it would not help much.  It feels like there is just one more person in my life that is telling me how messed I am.

 

I am also wondering why I can want a great relationship with my boyfriend and at the same time, be the one to cause problems.  I just cannot stop being negative and creating havoc. 

 

On the side, I do not know what to do without him.  I have no accomplishments that I am proud of.  For a long time, I have not been able to smile.  I am in so much pain that I keep away from my friends. 

 

What am I suppose to do? How am I supposed to fall in-love with myself when I am such a horrible person?  

Rosalind from the United States

---

I am 28 years old, working as a Manager in a US MNC and earning decently well above average. I have been working hard to be where I am today.  As compared to my friends and relatives, I am in an enviable position because of my career growth.

 

Despite the outward appearances of achievement and success, I feel horrible on the inside.  I am so hesitant of any change, taking risks/chances and pushing myself to greater heights.  I tend to give in to the demands from every friend and colleague.  I suffer from a lack of confidence.

 

I am aware that I look up to those with better-looking features such as their height.  I have a tendency to attach more value to their most trivial of achievements and undermine the best of my strengths.

 

At work, I know that I am able to do a job well, but whenever the situation calls for leadership, I feel as if I just can’t live up to it.  And so, I try to be a good team player but avoid taking the driver's seat at all costs.

 

I dislike the idea of being aggressive, rash, blunt, or boastful, but then again, I also do not want to be a person with low self-confidence, poor self-esteem and the biggest self-critic.  Please tell me how I can convince myself that I am not as weak and undeserving as I now believe I am. 

 

Warm Regards,

Pete from Spain

Additionally, I have helping a number of my clients, family and friends about their self-love issues too.  From my findings, it is clear that insufficient or the lack of self-love can cause much disruption to anyone’s life.  And if you ask me, we are living in a world that is starved of love.  It is not that love is not available but we have been starving ourselves from our basic need.

Chances are that it has been hard to escape from the constant bombardment of messages that made us believe how “not good enough” or unlovable we are.  We hear them from our parents, friends, bosses, and media advertisements. In fact, we have been hearing these messages from the time we were born.  It has been the case that ever since the time we were children, we have been learning that we need perfect looks, top grades, titles, money and status to be deemed worthy of love and respect. And so, we use these forms of identification to define who we are.  Should we fall short, we find it hard to love ourselves. 

Consequences of Low Self-Love

Unfortunately, success can be harder to achieve if the voice inside your head becomes overwhelming.  You constantly judge yourself for being “wrong”, “imperfect” or “not good enough”.   You also apply labels such as a “failure”, “loser” or “freak” on yourself.  Admittedly, it is difficult to experience any ounce of joy when you are convinced of the debilitating stories that you tell yourself.

"Of all the judgments we pass in life, none is more important than the judgment we pass on ourselves." - Nathaniel Branden

Because you have been trapped in a negative mental state for so long, loving yourself is not something that comes easily.  Even as you wish to break free from your inner critic, you had been facing problems knowing where to start.  You find yourself drowning again and again in a whirl of self-pity, self-rejection and self-blame. 

Hence, it would seem that loving yourself has to be a practice until the day that it becomes natural, just like breathing.  So it means that you may just need to start from understanding the basics of what it means to love yourself.  Before going on to that, let’s look into the consequences of what happens when there is a lack or low level of love:

You find it hard to believe in yourself.

You criticize yourself constantly.

You believe that you are unworthy.

You are excessively hard on yourself, but find it easy to be lenient towards others.

You have got low expectations for yourself.

When you look in the mirror, all you can notice are your flaws, imperfections and faults.

You neglect self-care for instance, not caring about your eating habits, not putting up a neat appearance and so on.

You often operate out of a fear of rejection.

You cannot function well in social groups.

You downplay your gifts, talents and abilities.

You have low self-confidence.

You feel lonely over long periods of time.

You suffer from bouts of depression or sudden and inexplicable bouts of sorrow.

You constantly crave the approval of others.

You dull pain and feelings of unworthiness through addictive behavior such as smoking, sex and shopping.

Most certainly, life can be more of a struggle especially if you are in the habit of deriding yourself. It is hard to function well when you are your greatest enemy. Invariably, you will face problems in relationships, health, success, career and wealth. It is possible to remain stuck in negativity for years, without knowing how to help yourself out effectively.  

Well, what you need to realize is that it is not possible to enjoy abundance of any form if you lack self-love.  The vibration of abundance is love.  Love has creative power.  It creates everything that you see around you.  Manifesting abundance can only begin with loving yourself. And so if you are hoping to enjoy some level of happiness or even to create a great life, you will need to learn how to love yourself.  In fact, the more self-love you have, the greater your ability to manifest abundance.

"You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and attention." - Buddha 

 
Myth of Self-Care

For one, holding on to myths can prevent you from loving yourself more fully. If you believe that self-love is simply about having a long bath, a manicure, massage or having your hair done, then you are sadly mistaken.  Sure these self-care activities make you feel good about yourself.  Buying a branded handbag or expensive car for yourself may be able to give you a high.  However, these are just externals.  The satisfaction that you derive from them do not long last long. The excitement dies out - fast!

Hence, it is possible to be engaged in years of self-care but still face difficulties with loving yourself.  In fact, by keeping yourself endlessly occupied with forms that engage your senses, you may even miss the whole point about what it truly means to love yourself.  And so you get an instant perk through these activities or material possessions but they do not transform you from the inside.  The rush of energy fizzles out rather quickly.

The myth of self-care is one of the 6 misconceptions that my book Self-Love Secrets explores.  In my book, I provided some answers to commonly asked questions.  The answers are meant to kick-start anyone’s journey towards healing, recovery and integration.

Self-love is about your being.  It encompasses more than just doing.  Hence, to truly love the self is more than a physical act of self-care, having material goods, using mental force to will yourself or having the day off to rest.  It is also more than saying positive things to yourself.  Self-love necessarily involves the mind-body-spirit.  It incorporates an inside-out approach. 

You will eventually discover that you are the one that you seek.  Answers to having a more successful life does not lie outside but from within.  It is only when you search inside your heart that you will realize who you really are.  Your inner being shines with luminescence, touching and inspiring everyone around you.  You become alive and very much, awake.

   Price US$27

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Who am I

My name is Evelyn Lim.  My personal growth journey started more than 5 years ago, ever since I made the commitment for inner work.  Because I have personally derived tremendous benefits and have seen how my life has changed, I have gone on to offering coaching and therapy assistance to others. I am now a certified life coach, a published author, intuitive consultant, Master Neuro-Linguistic Practitioner and EFT Practitioner. 

I decided to write Self-Love Secrets after having received several emails from the readers to my blog. I realized that there are many who are clueless in knowing how to begin loving themselves.  In many ways, they reminded me about how it was like when I first found out that inadequate self-love was the root cause of my problem. I had to scramble around for answers myself back then.  The good thing was that I eventually came to my own understanding about my issues.  I also discovered that I could help others with my insights. 

Then again, when I first announced about writing a book on Self-Love, I had no idea that it was going to take me months to finish it.  Once I got started, I discovered that things were not so simple as compiling a bunch of tips.  Eventually, I realized that I had to cover everything I knew – which meant including spiritual perspectives as well.  Hence, my book is not simply an instruction manual but a book that helps create soul awareness.  And so, it is a guide to getting started on How to Love Yourself holistically; that is in mind, body and spirit.

 
What Self-Love Secrets Covers

Self-Love Secrets is written in a very easy-to-understand format.  Whether you are 21 or 70 years old, you should be able to learn some useful things from this book.  It is a great starter guide in your self-discovery journey. 

My book covers all three mind-body-spirit aspects of the practice.  It gets your questions answered, helps you to flip your negative self-talk to a positive one, equips you with strategies and facilitates spiritual awareness.  You will learn about the importance of having balance, without tipping over to self-deprecation or narcissism, in order to be healthy.   You will find true self-love. 

By reading my book, you will learn the following specifically:

 How to get started with loving yourself;

Dispelling the 6 myths about self-love;

Signs of low self-love and esteem;

Differences between self-love, esteem and confidence;

What 10 negative self-talk patterns you can possibly have;

What childhood messages are fueling your self-talk;

What 3 core beliefs are driving your actions and behavior;

What is the one single root cause of your poor ability to love yourself;

Flipping your negative self-talk to a positive one;

Keys to a mind-body-spirit approach to self-love;

Developing spiritual consciousness;

Benefits from living a life of love;

What your life journey on Earth is about;

And much much more.

For your practical application, I have also included three additional reports.  They are as follows:

Together with the bonus reports, the entire Self-Love Secrets collection is meant to be able to help you develop a stronger footing in loving yourself.

Price: US$27.00

Testimonials

I have collated findings, research, case studies and results in order to write this book.  Most importantly, it includes my personal experiences.  I had earlier taken notes from exploring my inner landscape. You will not find this book anywhere else.

I thought you may like to know that I have had the pleasure of receiving top endorsements from some authors and experts in the personal development field for my book.  Here is what they have to say....

Evelyn Lim illustrates the importance of self-love so beautifully. She unravels complex themes such as issues of worthiness, self acceptance and self love to peel back the layers and explore our unlimited potential. Each chapter covers in-depth topics to awaken your own personal invitation to make the life-changing decision to love you once and for all! Sarah Prout Best-selling author to "The Power of Influence", award-winning entrepreneur, co-founder of  Älska Publishing www.SarahProut.com

I first knew Evelyn through her website and I was immediately impressed and inspired. Her honesty, warmth, and wisdom shine through in everything she writes. Evelyn’s Self Love Secrets is an insightful, comprehensive guide for anyone looking to love and accept themselves more fully.  Read it and feel good about yourself—in mind, body, and spirit! Lori Deschene Author of "Tiny Buddha: Simple Wisdom for Life's Hard Questions" www.TinyBuddha.com

“Self-Love Secrets” surprised me. Not because it is a thoughtful and well-researched guide to finding the radiant being within each of us that is most-surely, worth loving but, because I discovered how many of the issues we grapple with in our daily lives stem from a lack of self-love. This book will show you where to “dig” to unearth the hidden blockages that are keeping self-love and your true happiness at bay. Evelyn Lim’s book showed me that applying a little self-love goes a long way toward creating the happy and fulfilling life each of us so deserves to live. Angela Artemis Author of "The Intuition Primer", Intuitive Coach www.PoweredbyIntuition.com

Self-Love Secrets will inspire, empower and uplift you on your own self-love journey. Evelyn shares her own journey to self-love and I found myself relating closely to many of the stages that Evelyn has experienced and writes about. The Seven Keys to self-love provide a wonderful starting point whether you are starting out on the self-love journey or already on the path. The tools and tips are practical and will help you move closer inner peace, loving yourself unconditionally and raise you vibrations to attract abundance into all areas of your life. I love how Evelyn has used her own stories, stories from real live people and what for me was really special was the use of fables. These are very powerful. Ready to really embrace your own self-love journey? Make sure you read Self-Love Secrets today. Suzie Cheel Author of "Emergings-A Meditation on the Emotions of Change" www.suziecheel.com

I got home today after leading a women's retreat yesterday, and one of the issues we focused on was compassion towards ourselves.  Then I settled down and spent some time with your book and so much of what you said was exactly what we were talking about.  In fact, when you get your book out, I'm going to send the information to the women from the retreat because I think your book would be great follow up for them.    As you have observed,  self-love is common in many cultures. At our retreat, we talked about how self-love might look like self-conceit or arrogance.  Your book makes the difference clear, and explains why self-love is critical to our health and our emotional and spiritual well-being.  Your book offers a perfect balance of your own story, story-parables, real stories of other people, people, inspiring quotations, careful research and pract ical how-to advice.  I found myself nodding in agreement and thinking "Yes" as I read along!   This is a huge accomplishment and a great gift to those who are confused by and stuck in patterns of self love denial.  I hope you enjoy great success with this book, no only because you deserve it for a job well done, but also because your success means that many people are benefiting from your wisdom.  That would be a good thing!   Galen Pearl www.10stepstofindingyourhappyplace.blogspot.com

Self-Love Secrets is a must-read for anyone who is interested in manifesting abundance.  As Evelyn has mentioned in her book, not many of us are actually aware that the vibration of abundance is a creative energy of love.  We are therefore not aware that we need to align ourselves with love before we can truly manifest more wealth.  The best place is to start from within.  We need to first learn to love ourselves.  Unfortunately, most of us face great difficulties even with self-acceptance. Evelyn's book is a comprehensive guide for healthy self-love.  She has included a number of real-life cases to show how a person's life can be negatively affected when there is a lack of love for the self. Her book has the answers for manifesting a most amazing life for yourself.  It leads you from the space of inner lack to one of fullness.  Thus, it increases your capacity to receive and have more from the Universe. I highly recommend Self-Love Secrets.  It is suitable for those who are keen on applying the Law of Attraction but who have not yielded positive results, spiritual practitioners, energy healers or just about anyone who is interested in his or own personal growth. A transformational piece of work! Mark Harrison Author of "Sail with the Wind" www.EffortlessAbundance.com

What Evelyn has shared will touch everyone in some way - no matter where each of us is on our journey.  Self-love is something that we can all experience, and continue to cultivate more deeply into our being.  Evelyn's mix of her own personal journeys along with other stories makes this book an engaging read.  More than that, though, it really gets to the heart of what love is, and how we make that part of our daily life.  All of this - the stories, the layout, the practical idea on being more self-loving - makes this book a joy to read! Lance Ekum Life Guide, Online Creator, Adventurer www.JungleOfLife.com

Price: US$27.00

Benefits to Loving Yourself More Fully

If you are facing challenges with coping with issues on self-love or self-esteem, then you will need to read Self-Love Secrets.  Most certainly, an increased ability to love yourself more fully can have tremendous positive impact on your life.  Here are some of the possible benefits that you may derive:

You become happier as a person because you are better able to accept your flaws, imperfections and uniqueness;

Your self-talk becomes more positive;

 

Your well-being improves;

 

You are able to practice forgiveness and compassion;

 

You enhance your ability to receive love because you know that you are deserving;

 

By being self-accepting, you also become more accepting of others;

 

Your relationships with your spouse, loved ones, friends, colleagues and clients improve tremendously;

 

From improved relationships, you enhance your ability to become successful;

 

Your energetic vibrations become more positive and hence, you enhance your ability to attract more positive outcomes;

 

You enhance your ability to reach maximum potential, because you are less inclined to putting yourself down;

You are able to honor your dreams;

 

You are better able to align with your higher purpose, thus leading a more fulfilling life.

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Price: US$27.00

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When you make a decision to love yourself, you are really saying that you want to come alive. You accept that you are responsible for the outcomes that you experience in your life and would like yourself to shine from living a fulfilling life.

Hence, do not procrastinate any longer.  It is possible to feel better right away.  Do not continue to allow your current negative self-talk hijack your right to happiness. Learn how to break free from habitual thought patterns and align with the loving part of you.

As the famous philosopher, Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one's own sunshine." Hence, consider stepping into the light by learning the keys to loving yourself. 

Shine from the soul always,

P.S. Self-Love Secrets is priced at less than the cost of a therapy session.  It contains case studies that I have worked on with my clients.  It can save you money and headache in your search for answers and personal transformation. Click Here to Order Self-Love Secrets Now >>

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